Marriage Material

Today I spent my lunch hour searching for the perfect buttons at Buttonham Palace. Although messy, they seem to know where everything is and have a huge selection of buttons to choose from. I was helped by a Russian woman, who I presume was the owner, and she really got into the spirit of finding just the right button for me.

First, I showed her my shirt and we found some wonderful glass buttons to match.

Next, I pulled out my Juliet sweater I am working (term used loosely) on. I found some delicious orange buttons that gave the colors that pop I was wanting.

The shop owner doubted my choice at first but came around when I showed her the combo a bit more. Besides, I was in Target afterwards and saw that the new issue of Martha Stewart has the same color combo on the cover. Can’t argue with that!

Anyhoo, at seeing that I both sew and knit she asked me

“are you married?”

“no”, I replied.

She said “you knit and sew and you are not married? I am very surprised. Women do not do these things anymore.  Some woman come into the shop for me to sew on buttons. I do it, but it is a terrible shame and it makes me sad. You will make someone a good wife”

I thought this was funny as I do not craft to increase my chance of marriage but rather because I enjoy the process. However, it is too bad the criteria for marriage is no longer the mastery of the domestic arts as I would be a shoe in 🙂 . I am pretty sure men are not searching Match.com to find the perfect seamstress with a profile like “Do you need pants hemmed, sweaters knit, and gourmet meals? Well you have come to the right place!”. In the end maybe I need “The Marriage Course”

So although I am not actively in the market (because I am lazy), as a single woman I am curious. Since Home Ec skills no longer define the desirability or marriage potential of women, what IS the new criteria for today’s woman?

Just curious…

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24 thoughts on “Marriage Material

  1. I got out of a long relationship a few months ago. It seems like about 99% of knit/craft bloggers are married with kids so I like to joke with some of my crafty friends that knitting/crafts must lead to marriage and kids. They’re usually like, “ummm… I think you may have that reveresed!”
    So yeah, I’m not sure that crafting increases marriage prospects! But it does keep me sane 🙂

  2. Love the button choices! The orange ones really pop out beautifully against the blue.
    The conversation with the shop owner cracked me up! I didn’t start crafting until after I got married.

  3. (I hope this doesn’t sound awful, this is the best answer I’ve got!): I agree that general craftiness may not be an inducement for getting married anymore, but I’d like to suggest that it does contribute to staying happily so!

    When I’m crafting in public, I always get asked if I’m pregnant.

    I love your buttons! Orange and blue is one of my favorite color combos as well, and I can’t wait to see the finished product (but I will be patient.) 😉

  4. I agree with caitlyn, those orange buttons are really beautiful!

    I grew up in another country; in a small town where you see the women of the block gathered by their -or their neighbor’s- front doors to knit, embroider, sew or crochet. It seemed that my generation was the last one to be taught the skills (only to be forgotten later).

    On the crafting side, I am lucky to have surrounded myself by friends that appreciate crafting…and i’m glad my crafty mother made me appreciate even more these skills (come on, 10 bucks just to hem pants? I’d rather buy myself a nice bottle of wine with that!) but here in the states quite often I get told “oh, women don’t do those things any more” and “oh, you can do that?”

    I just got married, there are no children yet, but I am not sure that being crafty helped/hindered during the search for the husband. I’ll have to ask him…

  5. That is really funny! Do guys even care about crafts and sewing? My boyfriend just seems to kind of put up with it for the most part. But, this could be good ammo for “that conversation” should it come up! 😉

  6. That is really funny! Do guys even care about crafts and sewing? My boyfriend just seems to kind of put up with it for the most part. But, this could be good ammo for “that conversation” should it come up! 😉

  7. Gurl you made me stop in my “blog reading tracks” when I scanned that last paragraph and justhad to comment!!!

    Are you kidding me?! I will completely bet the person who said those words was over the age of 50! That should tell you right there where that comment even originated from in the 1st place.

    It is a different time/era, and speaking as a single woman not dating (but would like to be again), I think men knowing I knit from the onset may be taken aback as it is preceived as a “spinister” act (even non-knitter women think that of ALL ages). And what man wants a woman that is considered….spinister! So I actually ease that hobby (truly a passion) in later on! Haha! Each time they are all supportive and intrigued (surprised more like it) by it.

    Now that I am a knitter I can’t wait to knit up hats and gloves for my man and make future baby knits!! :oD

    But yeah we so would be a shoe in if that was the pre-req!! Haha! Funny thing is I actually picked this craft up as a de-stress and keep my idle mind off of negative thoughts/experiences. I doubt anyone picks up this skill to “snag” a man! Now…cooking classes could be another story! ;op

  8. My husband claims that he married me because he thinks I am funny. So that’s at least one person’s opinion on the marriage potential of a woman. And based on his (somewhat joking) irritation at the balls of yarn that are popping out of every basket and drawer in our house, I don’t think he would have sought out a crafty woman on purpose.

  9. I absolutely love that blue/orange combo with the buttons! Despite being married, I have no ideas about what the current “marriage criteria” are, so I’m no help there.

  10. Most of the boys I’ve dated have expressed a mild annoyance at my knitting, and have rarely been enthused. However, my ex accidentally got really into spinning when I was trying to learn–he was way better than I ever was. My current boyfriend was confused, but supportive, and then he discovered hand knit socks. He even occasionally talks about taking a sewing class at the fabric store that the lys I work for recently opened.

    However, the jury’s still out as to whether or not any kind of crafting makes me marriage material. Perhaps I can snag a husband based on charm alone?

  11. LOL, you raise a really interesting point! I think that since domestic skills are not as necessary as they were before (since it’s easy enough to pay other people to do sewingg/cooking/etc) and the stigma of not being able to do tehm is gone, it just boils down to finding the right connection with someone. I honestly think it’s less about what men are looking for, and more about what you’re looking for. If there’s anything I know for sure, it’s that men always come along when you are defintiely sure you don’t want to be in a relationship, and when you do want to be in a relationship, there are no suitable men to be found!

  12. I like that aqua and orange combo! Trusting Martha’s taste is always a good thing 🙂 And I can’t wait to receive the yarn, I was afraid it would cost to much to send. I already have something in mind as a thank you.

  13. thanks for the suggestion. i almost went there today on my lunch hour. too bad i missed you! i think you are already a shoe-in and have to agree with julie and guess that the issue for you would be to meet someone who is a good match for you. you are clearly a domestic goddess, and that is a fantastic thing in and of itself.

  14. Any person would be glad to have a beautiful woman with taste and wit for an SO. Craftiness is no longer a requirement.

    My dh would be happy if I didn’t craft, so that I wouldn’t have our bedroom cluttered with 17 half-finished projects and supplies for more!

  15. ooooh! Beautiful buttons!

    I started knitting seriously right about the same time I met my hub. He’s such a good sport about it, and doesn’t complain about my stash and such. (he says, “Like leaving the toilet seat up, it’s an argument I just can’t win.”)

    I like to think that it was my patience (tolerance?) and sense of humor that won him over. But my cooking and crafting skills didn’t hurt, either!

  16. Hey there! First time commenting from your dear ole SnB friend… Well, I can safely say that being adept at domestic arts is NOT a criteria for being perceived as a good wife (otherwise my friends I would still be very much single)–it just seems to be about chemistry and how well you just get through an ordinary day together. It’s great to have fun on dates and whatnot, but let’s face it, most of marriage/cohabitation is the boring ole day-in day-out, feeding the cat/taking the kid to school/getting that bday present/buying gas and if you guys can hang with it and still retain your sense of humor, that’s really it right there 🙂 Beautiful photos of beautiful objects–you’re my inspiration!

  17. My husband and I have been married for 17 years. My craftiness didn’t snare him even back in 1991, but it did endear me to his mother and grandmother. I have steadfastly refused to stitch buttons for him or iron his shirts. I say that any adult man should be able to do those things on his own. If not, he can pay the dry cleaner instead.

    My husband was very athletic and competitive, before he knew me. With me he says he was able to feel calm and relaxed, but unfortunately.. now neither one of us is athletic…

  18. Domesticity is under-rated, in my view. I mean, if you are going to rely on your husband to sort out the house, you had better find a pretty special kind of guy. And what marriage won’t last longer with good food and a woman who thinks she looks good and takes care of herself? Oh, and has interests that are not just her boyfriend? That’s also very appealing.

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